Funnypeopleswim

Those sisters are so annoying. I know they don't last but they are really annoying.

I’ve watched up to 8 but only understand half of the plot.

I agree he’s a terrible husband to Wen. He should blame himself. But I’ve said so before. I didn’t think about it before but he does play favourites.

The practice of sending one’s kids away from school differs from family to family. My mom would never agree to it but my dad was raised that way. I heard in Britain kids are sent away to boarding school at 6 years old. I though 10 was too young but 6 is even worse. But Houye might have been sent away himself as a kid and thought it, served him well. Whereas Concubine Wen is from a merchant class and probably has a different practice. I didn’t know until the subtitles came out that they though Wen could be the spy. I mean in the beginning I thought so too. But she’s so upfront and terrible with schemes, as we soon shall see. I kind of like Wen, she’s straightforward. She and Erniang are similar but she didn’t seem to have Erniang’s bitterness. Sadly that come after. Her son is so nice too. I hope in the end the brothers get to grow up together and be close instead of being rivals. It would be nice if Shiyi could give them that. I hated the dinner scene with the Madam Xu, Shiyi and Houye. She was still in her traditional values, your just a concubine’s daughter attitude. I know, I know, she’s just being typical MIL but her prejudice is sad. To me she’s one of the villains of the family. It’s her attitude and conservativeness that has cause a lot of the problems of the Xu. But unfortunately she is probably very typical of the time.

I agree. They were fated as enemies. It’s hard to see how a wife and concubine can be friends unless they have a tact understanding. But those situations are rare. It doesn’t help that there is so much power and command at stake and they only thing that can change that is having your husbands favour. I did think the irony of Houye and Shiyi was great. 1. That he was the one who had to court her in the beginning. When everyone else was trying to please him. 2. Now that Shiyi is trying to win him over you can see how those courtship tricks don’t work on Houye. Like making him his favourite food. Because he has lost the trust he had in her. Thankfully she does finally gain his forgiveness, with her honesty and sincerity. @Toby You don’t need to apologize for being an introvert. I am one too.

What is that from?

True my best friend is Portuguese, and I think her dad is like this. Although I thought of him more of an exception rather than the rule.

@OsmanthusTea @AwkwarDerp My dad is pretty sensitive, and kind of mom-like, my uncles aren't really like as you described. I mean they provide and stuff, but I don't get the sense that they are like this. We do get the typical men sitting at the table while the women care for the food and clean up at a party, but I know they all do housework in the privacy of their own homes. I guess some traditional arch-types prevail.

Are you saying there are still some men like this today? I'm just wondering...Not attacking

I thought this the first time through (without subs) but Houye must really love Shiyi. Because he is a great husband to her. However, he's not a great husband to the other women. I think he is both the cause and the result of why other wives/concubines are so cunning. First of all he listens to his mom too much. Because he's a proud, nobleman who puts duty above all he's never been motivated to go against her. I think trying to rebuild the Xu family and protect the people, essentially made him an absent, apathetic husband. Whatever affection he may have felt for his first wife, died when her ambition exceed his need for a peaceful home life. I can understand him wanting a peaceful home life but its insensitive to the real concerns of his wives. They want to protect their positions, and the positions of their children, and he just thought of it as a headache. From a romantic perspective we all like that he's not interested in his concubines, but it reality his neglect makes them feel like they are failing their duties, and causes them to hate Shiyi more. I really thought he was cold to Concubine Qin about the loss of her child. The coldness, can be a poison to a barren wife. And when he didn't let her adopt the thrid child, because of her lack of education, he really pushed her over the edge. You see later he also pushes Wen too far by sending their son away. Meanwhile you see how often Houye is willing to protect and cater to Shiyi. While all the other women are trying their best to please him. His works hard to please Shiyi. If I was the other women I would probably get mad too. All this is to say I can see why the women are the way they are.

I'm finally catching up with the sub episodes 27-36...it's so stressful even the second time around. I keep wanting to fast forward parts...

Welcome to the madness. :)

I'm not a sharer, so no. But I know everyone is different. Some people like open relationships. If there are children that can complicate matters. It's true that it's pretty common. And sadly a lot of people cheat. Also relationships and marriage can change over time and people change. So I can't really judge someone else's life choices. But for myself, if there was third party, I would leave.