Funnypeopleswim

Those sisters are so annoying. I know they don't last but they are really annoying.

I’ve watched up to 8 but only understand half of the plot.

I agree he’s a terrible husband to Wen. He should blame himself. But I’ve said so before. I didn’t think about it before but he does play favourites.

The practice of sending one’s kids away from school differs from family to family. My mom would never agree to it but my dad was raised that way. I heard in Britain kids are sent away to boarding school at 6 years old. I though 10 was too young but 6 is even worse. But Houye might have been sent away himself as a kid and thought it, served him well. Whereas Concubine Wen is from a merchant class and probably has a different practice. I didn’t know until the subtitles came out that they though Wen could be the spy. I mean in the beginning I thought so too. But she’s so upfront and terrible with schemes, as we soon shall see. I kind of like Wen, she’s straightforward. She and Erniang are similar but she didn’t seem to have Erniang’s bitterness. Sadly that come after. Her son is so nice too. I hope in the end the brothers get to grow up together and be close instead of being rivals. It would be nice if Shiyi could give them that. I hated the dinner scene with the Madam Xu, Shiyi and Houye. She was still in her traditional values, your just a concubine’s daughter attitude. I know, I know, she’s just being typical MIL but her prejudice is sad. To me she’s one of the villains of the family. It’s her attitude and conservativeness that has cause a lot of the problems of the Xu. But unfortunately she is probably very typical of the time.

I agree. They were fated as enemies. It’s hard to see how a wife and concubine can be friends unless they have a tact understanding. But those situations are rare. It doesn’t help that there is so much power and command at stake and they only thing that can change that is having your husbands favour. I did think the irony of Houye and Shiyi was great. 1. That he was the one who had to court her in the beginning. When everyone else was trying to please him. 2. Now that Shiyi is trying to win him over you can see how those courtship tricks don’t work on Houye. Like making him his favourite food. Because he has lost the trust he had in her. Thankfully she does finally gain his forgiveness, with her honesty and sincerity. @Toby You don’t need to apologize for being an introvert. I am one too.

What is that from?

True my best friend is Portuguese, and I think her dad is like this. Although I thought of him more of an exception rather than the rule.

@OsmanthusTea @AwkwarDerp My dad is pretty sensitive, and kind of mom-like, my uncles aren't really like as you described. I mean they provide and stuff, but I don't get the sense that they are like this. We do get the typical men sitting at the table while the women care for the food and clean up at a party, but I know they all do housework in the privacy of their own homes. I guess some traditional arch-types prevail.

Are you saying there are still some men like this today? I'm just wondering...Not attacking

I thought this the first time through (without subs) but Houye must really love Shiyi. Because he is a great husband to her. However, he's not a great husband to the other women. I think he is both the cause and the result of why other wives/concubines are so cunning. First of all he listens to his mom too much. Because he's a proud, nobleman who puts duty above all he's never been motivated to go against her. I think trying to rebuild the Xu family and protect the people, essentially made him an absent, apathetic husband. Whatever affection he may have felt for his first wife, died when her ambition exceed his need for a peaceful home life. I can understand him wanting a peaceful home life but its insensitive to the real concerns of his wives. They want to protect their positions, and the positions of their children, and he just thought of it as a headache. From a romantic perspective we all like that he's not interested in his concubines, but it reality his neglect makes them feel like they are failing their duties, and causes them to hate Shiyi more. I really thought he was cold to Concubine Qin about the loss of her child. The coldness, can be a poison to a barren wife. And when he didn't let her adopt the thrid child, because of her lack of education, he really pushed her over the edge. You see later he also pushes Wen too far by sending their son away. Meanwhile you see how often Houye is willing to protect and cater to Shiyi. While all the other women are trying their best to please him. His works hard to please Shiyi. If I was the other women I would probably get mad too. All this is to say I can see why the women are the way they are.

I'm finally catching up with the sub episodes 27-36...it's so stressful even the second time around. I keep wanting to fast forward parts...

Welcome to the madness. :)

I'm not a sharer, so no. But I know everyone is different. Some people like open relationships. If there are children that can complicate matters. It's true that it's pretty common. And sadly a lot of people cheat. Also relationships and marriage can change over time and people change. So I can't really judge someone else's life choices. But for myself, if there was third party, I would leave.

Thank god for that!

I believe it. Arrange marriages are fascinating to me. My mom used to set me up on blind dates all the time. But the candidates were all unsuitable. But my father-in-law does a lot of marriage counselling and he says they are sometimes more successful than love matches because the couple have lower expectations of each other and behave more practically. @JennyKimWOP I can't predict who Shiyi would be more happy with. Both men have their own appeal. But your insights were interesting. I sort of think Shiyi is the kind of person who knows how to find her own happiness no matter who she is with. But the romantic in me supposes Houye is the one she is fated for.

That makes more sense to me, than her dying because of neglect or lack of love. They had polygamy in Vietnam too until Christianity and Communism. But I was raised in Canada so very different. When I visited Vietnam and saw my family, they spoke about one of my uncles have a baby wife. Which I think mean it's either his second wife or mistress, I wasn't clear. But unlike in the drama my aunt was separated from her husband by that point. They weren't all cohabitating together. There are other aspects of this that are different to me. The servitude to one's in-laws, the whole husband decided everything. I've watched harem dramas growing up too, but I just can't imagine myself in that time. Don't get me wrong I love historical dramas, but some of the situations are hard to empathise with.

This is why the situation is so foreign to me. I think one would need to be raised in that kind of environment and culture. It would require a complete reset of values.

Seriously. OMG.

@SnT I will be sad for Daddi Wang if his character dies. Especially for his corrupt family. The old practice of executing the whole family for the crime of one family member is very cruel. I'm glad they don't still do that. I think it would be nice (wishful thinking I know) if they could save him and bury the grudge between the two families. Amber is a weird character. She comes off smart but she has poor judgment. She's easy to manipulate. I admit the harem politics is very foreign to me. I mean I understand it, but I could never live it. Nor can I imagine hanging myself because my husband ignored me. But maybe it's was more than that. It can be lonely in the Xu mansion. Living a forced life, under the power of the main wife and mother-in-law. Madam Luo is such a ruthless woman as was her daughter, Yuan Niang.

@OsmanthusTea Thank you :)

Sorry, I've become lasy. SML = Second Male Lead. The younger Ou who had a crush on Shiyi. I can never remember his name. The Good Ou. Also to those caught up: How did Amber's sister die, who was she really married too? I know she was a concubine. But my Mandarin is rubbish. Help!

Just to change subjects: What does everyone think will happen to Amber? Will she end up with the SML? Also Houye is now wearing blue. It's a different pattern. I think he looks good.

Lol, it really does depend on the person. The buzzing flies analogy is funny. It's a difficult decision. Personally speaking, I went against my families wishes and studied art. The whole time I was in university my parents would encourage me to quit. They thought design was a useless field and I should go into business or be a lawyer or something. They were embarrassed by my field of study and feared that I would end up like a street artist or unemployed. It might have been better if I had done what they wanted. We didn't have a lot of money, and both my parents found themselves unemployed during that time. I borrowed money to go to school and worked full time while in university. I barely graduated. Ironically design, and specifically web design ended up being one of the most highly sought after fields after I graduated. But that was just luck and good timing. Honestly I just did what I wanted. I was being selfish because art and design were the only skills I was good at. I couldn't really be anything else. I'm not sure there is a right or wrong. We make the decisions we do, based on what we know at the time. Hindsight only comes after. As you say it all depends on the person. --- Also if I am honest I am just tired of Madame Xu. She really annoys me. I would be a terrible daughter-in-law to her.