[C-Artist] Chen Fei Yu 陈飞宇

Tothestars · October 5, 2020

Arthur's Essay about Duan Bo Wen from his 1st work, Secret Fruit.

http://weibointl.api.weibo.com/share/176127242.html?weibo_id=4126649216351993

Chen Feiyu Arthur

Because I met you, so I can 👦🏻

2017-07-06

Reading 2.03 million+

On a cold winter day, I stood on the side of the road between the teaching building and the dormitory, as usual, waiting patiently for yellow buses to cross the road. The feather-like snow fell one by one on the top of my head, on my school bag, and in my palm. I tried my best to tuck my chin into my black turtleneck sweater, occasionally communicating with the classmates on the bus with my eyes. I stepped into the forty centimeters of snow, shook off the drops of water on my body, and closed my eyes. I raised my head, and in that snowy night, I couldn't help but shed a drop of tears. Recall last winter this scene, I'm still questioning myself why I cry.

From childhood to adulthood, my parents often taught me that as a man, I should not bow to any difficulties in life. Especially my father, I hope I can live courageously in line with the principle of "a man has tears but not flick". Despite this, I was always a crying boy when I was young. I told myself, "You have to cry like a man." So every time I hide in no one’s place, secretly shed a few tears, and then try to comfort myself and tell myself that even if I cry, I’m still a man. This may be me when I was a child. When faced with difficulties and setbacks, I would feel wronged enough. I didn't want to talk to anyone or express my true emotions.

Last November, I met the first character in my life, a high school student who changed my personality, and a high school student who let me know who I am. His name is the same as his temperament, his heart is passionate but his life is independent and strong. A teenager who has experienced all sorts of obstruction in life, Duan Bowen. From the script, I saw all the truths, secrets, and even all his thoughts about his life as a 17-year-old boy. What worries me even more is that sooner or later, I will become him. I told myself that I couldn't do it. I told myself that I couldn't become Duan Bowen, and I was even more unable to take on such a heavy responsibility. I will not yell at my dad, nor will I have a crush on a teacher who is nearly ten years older than me. I have never known how to cherish the person I love and love me, and I have always been the person who talks the most. I don't want to be a cold boy like you, and I don't want to become alone at a young age. I am not Duan Bowen, I am Chen Feiyu. After contacting you, although in reality I constantly want to get rid of your personality, your dissatisfaction with your family, and your complicated mood, I can't avoid getting to know your most true side. You will be upset when you are depressed, cry sadly when you break down, sleepless at night when you are suffering, and impulsive and reckless when you are angry. You are no different from me, you are the part of my body that has been missing. I have never been full of distress and suffering in my life. I know that maybe this is wrong. You can't see the rainbow without experiencing wind and rain. You can't grow without experiencing setbacks. It is my luck to know you, you have perfected me at the age of seventeen.

On that cold night, I seemed to see the long-lost self at the end of the road, the simple self who had never feared any difficulties and did not tolerate any setbacks. I raised my head, the snowflakes lightly hit my cheek, and hot tears flowed through my neck and into my heart. At this moment, I think, I am just like you. I stroked my messy hair and left myself under the snowy stars. Thanks to the seventeen-year-old brought to me by "Secret Fruit", and thank everyone for their good intentions to Duan Bowen. Thank you half a year ago, the one who let loneliness surround yourself. It is you who let me know that every decision made in life may change your future. Thank you, Chen Feiyu. Thank you, Duan Bowen.

Chen Feiyu Arthur