Can We Be Strangers? 남이 될 수 있을까? (2023)

[Rina]

Preview of Ep 7 with English sub.

 

 

[Rina]

Excited about next week episodes.

Ep 6 ending scene...HaRa to Eun Beom

"If you keep doing this I will take it the wrong way.

Do you think I am too good to throw away now?" 

 You wish, girl!

[ktcjdrama]

On 2/3/2023 at 2:26 PM, abs-oluteM said:

I know a lot of people says he's a jerk for putting her through that and that he should have voiced it out, but communication requires the other party to pay attention & listen too. It is a two-way street. Though I still think there's more to why he wanted the divorce ( think it's linked to his views on having children) , this marriage may have been a lot healthier and less lopsided if both had been able to honestly said what they felt without being brushed off all the time by the other person. 

Well said for the above. I haven’t watched ep.5-6, but I have to agree with @SilverMoonTea that this drama still gives me mixed feelings. I feel frustrated watching the leads, but I still want to know how they are handling their relationship going forward. I want them to get back together, but I have to admit I am not liking Hara too much. I feel that EB loves her so much more than she does him. For sure, she comes across as childish and petty. Can be seen from the many instances she treated him. I understand that she feels hurt from their divorce, that he supposedly had an affair, but I also see that she only thinks about revenge towards him instead trying to understand more whyyyyyy he would have an affair. Yes, I guess I am more biased towards EB because he does try hard to make it up to her. I pity him, especially having seen what their marriage life is like. Agree with what is written by @abs-oluteM above that communication is two-way, so I don’t think he was being a jerk at all. I find that HR is the one more lacking in giving into the relationship. For now at least of what we’re shown. I also thought if it wasn’t because of EB having no place to work, I believe he wouldn’t have wanted to be in the same office as her. 
 

I too agree there should bemore to why he was withdrawing himself from the marriage. So I am looking forward to more backstory. 

[SilverMoonTea]

@ktcjdramaAbsm summed up pretty well why this drama a bit strange, and I had to agree with her reasoning. I have not touch latest episode yet... 😅

 

 

Spoiler

At the moment I only sincerely enjoying Kokdu, Crash Course Romance and Brain Work. I have to admit I stopped Meet Yourself at 32 and lost interest, as they already become item 😂

 

[Rina]

Our divorced couple, one hot papa and mama! 

[abs-oluteM]

@SilverMoonTea I love this drama even if it’s not easy to watch at times  . While Crash Course is fun & enjoyable , with a very typical rom-com path, this drama resonates with me a bit more . It’s actually quite a unique show because the cases that they take on sometimes mirrors the issues the leads ( or the related characters ) have . 
 

-/—-

Eps 7 excerpts. HR finds about her dad & confronts him. Her mum didn’t want to divorce the dad but I think she’ll change her mind . The reality slapped her on the face when the husband’s illegitimate daughter came to their house saying she wants to stay there 😳.

 

As I had expected, HR & JG’s relationship isn’t going well - she’s avoiding him & he caught her doing that 😅. I think she’ll want to break up . Given what’s happening in her family , I don’t think she’s in the right frame of mind anyway. Since she’s going through a really tough time emotionally, and she calls EB telling him she feels like dying. I suppose it just means she’s feeling suffocated 

 

[abs-oluteM]

Preview

 

[Rina]

OST Part 4. But my favourite still Mi Camino.

 

[ktcjdrama]

I really like ep.5. The issues with the family/in-laws parents. I like how Hong lawyer gave her daughter the advice about being in control of the steering wheel on where she wants to go. 

[40somethingahjumma]

Episode 7 Spoilers...

 

Yikes. What an unholy mess. Adultery/cheating and its consequences seem to be the flavour of the week. Dad's sins finally came to light and the family drama afterwards is almost amusing if it weren't so tragic. Honestly, I'm so glad that Ha-ra and Jae Gyeom have split up. It was doomed from the start. They were together for all the wrong reasons. The timing was all wrong. I never disliked Jae-gyeom before until Episode 7 but there was something mean-spirited about him. He confessed he knew Ha-ra was still in love with Eun-beom and he still tried to escalate their relationship. Why tell Ha-ra that he loved her? I lost whatever little respect I had for him when he called her a liar. 

 

It feels more and more like Eun-beom is doing the same thing he's always done and that's cleaning up after Ha-ra. I don't dislike her but she's unprofessional in many instances which is probably the result of a very strong narcissist streak. She's probably had it easy for most of her life. Probably overindulged by loving parents and then by a good-natured non-confrontational husband who cushioned her from her personality flaws. I understand how she feels about her father's indiscretions but pushing her mother to act in a certain way felt over-the-top to me. Someone else more objective should have been handling her parents' impending divorce. Despite the justification for the divorce as a result of infidelity, it feel like she railroaded her mother into it with her histrionics. I don't remember her ever asking her mother what she wanted.

 

The most sympathetic person in this episode was the mistress, Kim Ga-eun who probably felt pushed to the brink by her lover. In the end they both reaped what they sowed. She's looking at a murder conviction and Eun-beom though divorced from Ha-ra can't seem to divest himself from her issues. 

[Rina]

12 hours ago, abs-oluteM said:

Preview

 

She said she loves Eun Beom??!!

Can’t wait for ep 8!

[Rina]

I screamed! Our Eun Beom is so sleek! 

That cheeky smirk at the end!

 

 

Edited February 10, 2023 by Rina

[abs-oluteM]

On 2/9/2023 at 5:38 PM, 40somethingahjumma said:

I don't remember her ever asking her mother what she wanted.

I too felt that she should have allowed her mother to decide. But anyhow with mum moving on with her life in episode 8 , I think HR won't proceed with the case.

----------------------------

 

8 hours ago, Rina said:

I screamed! Our Eun Beom is so sleek! 

That cheeky smirk at the end!

Indeed. So happy that JSJ has taken on this role. I bever doubt his drama choices. 

--------------------

I suppose HR was reacting to the hurt she felt - it's not just her mother whom her father betrayed. Because she had such a good relationship with her father and sees him as a perfect man, what he did broke that bubble she was in. So her suing the mistress and so on , isn't so much for her mum and was more about the hurt she felt. It isn't her place to do it of course. HR does tend to react quite emotionally as we have seen in the earlier episodes - which surprises me given her occupation & her star lawyer status. 

 

I like the main message of ep 8 - love & hate can be two sides of the same coin. I completely relate to HR in her conversation here with EB.  Sometimes the ones you love can also frustrate you the most. 

I wasn't very surprised that EB decided at the end to give this relationship a chance again. The issue isn't that there was a lack of love to begin with. It wasn't that HR didn't love him , and I am quite sure he still loves her given how much he cares and can't seem to stop being entangled in her problems :D.

 

But the core problem of why their marriage broke down in the first place is still not addressed. It was an imbalanced relationship where EB tended to give a lot more and lost himself. So I am assuming that the writer will use the last 4 episodes to get the leads to see what truly went wrong. EB needs to be honest with her about his feelings and frustrations, & HR will have to listen and recognise that she had a part to play in their divorce. 

 

Film making

Spoiler

 

 

[abs-oluteM]

So BTS for the Arena photo shoot. He doesn't seem to age 

 

[Rina]

 

 

[ktcjdrama]

It is good that OHR is played by Kang So Ra, and that they do inject some comedies throughout the episodes, otherwise I would love to hate our female lead. Tbh, I still cannot relate to OHR. I am more annoyed and frustrated by her. I find that she is really selfish, rushing her mother to make a very big important decision, without any discussion/talk among the three of them as a family. I understand the point that @abs-oluteM raised about it is more about her feeling betrayed by her "perfect" father, but that is also one aspect that I find a bit disconnected in that we don't really see her feeling too sad/angry by it. Sure we see her drowning herself in alcohol, but almost everyone (in kdramaland) do the same for various reasons, some really trivial. I understand too, it could be due to the storytelling style of this drama that we are not allowed too many scenes of self-reflecting, self-wallowing, things like that. The plot moves on quite fast, I have to agree. However, another incident in ep.8 again showed how irritating a person OHR can be. Selfish. She knew that EB is working on a serious and difficult case that even required him to work late into the night, but insensitively she kept dropping in to distract him, in person and through texts. Just so that she can be freed ASAP from something that is nagging her. Being a lawyer herself, does she not know how important it is to concentrate when preparing for cases? (or maybe not so for a divorce lawyer?). Does she not know when one's train of thoughts is broken, it is not easy to continue the thoughts? Why does she think it is okay to add one more "headache" to EB. Very insensitive, and I was annoyed watching her pop the question 10 times. Sure it gets us what we have been waiting for, as shown at the end of the episode, but I really wasn't enjoying her distracting EB so much in the middle of his work. That said, the cases presented so far have been great ones to ponder on regarding relationships.

 

[SilverMoonTea]

10 hours ago, ktcjdrama said:

It is good that OHR is played by Kang So Ra, and that they do inject some comedies throughout the episodes, otherwise I would love to hate our female lead. Tbh, I still cannot relate to OHR. I am more annoyed and frustrated by her.

This is absolutely what I felt about her on the first few episodes. I think she's the type that quite impulsive and always react according to her emotion. Topped with very strongwilled at that too, so she's a little hard to handle. But still I'm glad she decided to end it cleanly with JG, as clearly she's not that into him. So it's also nice that she's not the wishy washy type or dishonest.

 

Btw, I'm back here 😂 @abs-oluteM. I think the drama has it own charm and it's actually quite unique. Probably I'm a nosy person, so I found all the cases are quite intriguing. Eventhough most of it quite cliche and we heard about it a lot, but the drama maker still can add some layers to it. 

 

I think my favourite will be the theme of ep 7, as HR narration about how all the relationship can be a mere illusion is resonate quite close to me and I guess to other watchers as well. The scene where EB cracked into pieces and dissapear into thin airs also quite beautiful and heart wrenching. 

 

I'll be continuing ep 8 later. 

[40somethingahjumma]

8 hours ago, ktcjdrama said:

It is good that OHR is played by Kang So Ra, and that they do inject some comedies throughout the episodes, otherwise I would love to hate our female lead. Tbh, I still cannot relate to OHR. I am more annoyed and frustrated by her. I find that she is really selfish, rushing her mother to make a very big important decision, without any discussion/talk among the three of them as a family. I understand the point that @abs-oluteM raised about it is more about her feeling betrayed by her "perfect" father, but that is also one aspect that I find a bit disconnected in that we don't really see her feeling too sad/angry by it. Sure we see her drowning herself in alcohol, but almost everyone (in kdramaland) do the same for various reasons, some really trivial. I understand too, it could be due to the storytelling style of this drama that we are not allowed too many scenes of self-reflecting, self-wallowing, things like that. The plot moves on quite fast, I have to agree. However, another incident in ep.8 again showed how irritating a person OHR can be. Selfish. She knew that EB is working on a serious and difficult case that even required him to work late into the night, but insensitively she kept dropping in to distract him, in person and through texts. Just so that she can be freed ASAP from something that is nagging her. Being a lawyer herself, does she not know how important it is to concentrate when preparing for cases? (or maybe not so for a divorce lawyer?). Does she not know when one's train of thoughts is broken, it is not easy to continue the thoughts? Why does she think it is okay to add one more "headache" to EB. Very insensitive, and I was annoyed watching her pop the question 10 times. Sure it gets us what we have been waiting for, as shown at the end of the episode, but I really wasn't enjoying her distracting EB so much in the middle of his work. That said, the cases presented so far have been great ones to ponder on regarding relationships.

 

 

I've called Ha-ra a narcissist because well there's no other word for it. She does come across as an entitled womanchild. She gives the impression that she's very professional but she throws tantrums. But I've noticed even in Episode 8 that she's gradually becoming more self-aware. She even apologized to Jae-gyeom for leading him on and acknowledge her shortcomings. I would like to see something similar between her and Eun-beom. If the leads are going to get back together, I certainly hope that there are healthy changes to their dynamic. There's no point in seeing two people doing the same things over and over hoping that feelings alone will see them through. 

 

The problem I have with Eun-beom is that he basically keeps cleaning up after her. Even when they've been divorced for a few years, he still around picking up her slack. She ditches her client, he picks up the client even though criminal law isn't his area of expertise. She's drunk, he picks her up. She pukes on him, he literally cleans up after her and books them into a hotel room. He keeps running back to her so the divorce seems to be some kind of holiday from Ha-ra.

 

All that said, I don't hate the leads. Their relationship is messy. It's not always easy to watch but there's something addictive about watching people making a trainwreck of their lives.

[SilverMoonTea]

23 minutes ago, 40somethingahjumma said:

The problem I have with Eun-beom is that he basically keeps cleaning up after her. Even when they've been divorced for a few years, he still around picking up her slack.

Now that you mentioned about this, it seems EB also kept revolving around her. Eventhough he seems more distant and want to cut off things with her. Now that his rich mom also making an appearance, his problem with money in the first few episodes sounds a little bit made up. He always had a little back up and not really that desperate. 

 

23 minutes ago, 40somethingahjumma said:

All that said, I don't hate the leads. Their relationship is messy. It's not always easy to watch but there's something addictive about watching people making a trainwreck of their lives.

I'm not really wishing him to get back together, but apparently some feelings had not been conveyed properly during their breakup. And EB still hiding something, probably related to his sibling, he seems doesn't want to talk about it. 

 

Also those question about opposite attract in relationship is really a million dollar question. Should one be in one or avoid it like a pest ? I think in this case EB is more of avoidant type and sounds more introvert than her. 

[40somethingahjumma]

49 minutes ago, SilverMoonTea said:

Now that you mentioned about this, it seems EB also kept revolving around her. Eventhough he seems more distant and want to cut off things with her. Now that his rich mom also making an appearance, his problem with money in the first few episodes sounds a little bit made up. He always had a little back up and not really that desperate. 

 

I'm not really wishing him to get back together, but apparently some feelings had not been conveyed properly during their breakup. And EB still hiding something, probably related to his sibling, he seems doesn't want to talk about it. 

 

Also those question about opposite attract in relationship is really a million dollar question. Should one be in one or avoid it like a pest ? I think in this case EB is more of avoidant type and sounds more introvert than her. 

 

The reason why I do want them back together is for Ha-ra to face up to what she did to him during their marriage... whatever that might have been. For me that is the elephant in the room. The show didn't give us a whole lot and perhaps we are overthinking things but I want a little more depth as to why Eun-beom "felt suffocated" by her. Lots of accusations have been hurled on both sides so I'm not sure who can be relied upon to give us the big picture. We only have his perspective on this and yet it can't have been all bad because he's still in love with her. I certainly don't believe she abused him. If she had, he could have used that as a reason in court rather than make up the whole adultery angle. 

 

I don't know if Eun-beom is a reliable narrator or perspective of their marriage. He lied about the adultery to get out of the marriage. What else is he lying about? This is my problem partly with how the divorce was framed. Also Ha-ra is completely self-centred. She was clueless and all her encroachments on his space was her thinking that she was doing something for his benefit and for their marriage. How much pushback did he give? She probably didn't even realise what she was doing half the time.

 

The ambiguity of some of the scenes of their married life suggests to me that it wasn't necessarily abuse. K dramas are not exactly backwards in portraying bullying or abuse. But it's more the case that Eun-beom was running on empty. He was tired of... most likely... giving in to her all the time and cleaning up after her. I suspect that he hasn't told her everything -- whether it's just the sister thing or if there's something more than that remains to be seen.

Edited February 11, 2023 by 40somethingahjumma

[ktcjdrama]

2 hours ago, SilverMoonTea said:

 

Also those question about opposite attract in relationship is really a million dollar question. Should one be in one or avoid it like a pest ?

This is another interesting point the drama raised. One common reason for divorce that we often hear of is irreconcilable differences. But we also know that opposites attract and we can complement differences (or rather shortcomings). Yet the other side of the coin is that people of the same interests/personalities can get along very well but can also find themselves being bored and joyless in their marriages. So really, there is no perfect formula for a happy marriage. It requires effort and heart to manage and maintain that love and commitment. Disclaimer: don’t take this as something to deter you (and other singles here!) from finding your perfect oppa, okay... hahahaaa. 

[SilverMoonTea]

15 hours ago, ktcjdrama said:

Sure we see her drowning herself in She knew that EB is working on a serious and difficult case that even required him to work late into the night, but insensitively she kept dropping in to distract him, in person and through texts. Just so that she can be freed ASAP from something that is nagging her. 

 

On another hindsight, EB actually got inspired by HR and pretty sure his closing argument moved the judge, hence the less sentence. I do think it's quite hard to prove the murder intention of the mistress, when I heard her reason of that day she bought a knife and put it in the bag 😅 , it was not that believeable tbh. I think the judge sentence in the end is quite fair & just, for she actually make someone losing his life. 

 

15 hours ago, ktcjdrama said:

Being a lawyer herself, does she not know how important it is to concentrate when preparing for cases? (or maybe not so for a divorce lawyer?).

 

I think becoming divorce lawyer can be interesting, but being included in marriage breakdown and lot of blaming from two sides must be taken toll on their mental health too. It will be hard to have a healthy view on love & marriage too. 

 

15 hours ago, ktcjdrama said:

Very insensitive, and I was annoyed watching her pop the question 10 times. Sure it gets us what we have been waiting for, as shown at the end of the episode

 

His answer is actually quite a surprise for me. My tablet almost fell on me because I wasn't really expecting it, looking at how lukewarm his response so far. HR also looks quite surprise by it. I'm looking forward for next episodes 🤩

 

I was about ready to abandoned this drama, but JSJ really charming and we all need him to share his skincare steps. Hot dad really have a good skin and look forever young !

[40somethingahjumma]

3 hours ago, ktcjdrama said:

 So really, there is no perfect formula for a happy marriage. It requires effort and heart to manage and maintain that love and commitment. Disclaimer: don’t take this as something to deter you (and other singles here!) from finding your perfect oppa, okay... hahahaaa. 

 

That's been my experience as well as someone who has done over two and a half decades and after observing other marriages. A lot of successful marriages come from two people who are committed to making it work through accommodation and communication. The commitment has to be there. If one party gives up for whatever reason, yeah... a miracle is needed to save that relationship. In my experience too there are no obvious pairings. Compatibility has some merit but it only goes so far. What's far more important is the two people being committed to each other. Also having shared values/ religious beliefs cannot be overstated.

 

There seems to be some kind of misconception that those who are successful at marriage are somehow better at it. Or are naturally suited to it and everything just falls into place. It doesn't work like that. It's a lot of day to day, moment by moment mundane stuff. There's also navigating hard times together. Some highs are very high and some lows are very low. You will make a lot of mistakes of course. Many. But it's not about avoiding them in so much as it is about learning from them. It's also good for the children to see their parents model conflict well. 

 

But if a woman doesn't respect her husband, no matter how passionately she fell for him in the first instance, it's not necessarily the death knell but it doesn't bode well for the relationship. It's becomes very hard work. 

 

There's something inherently satisfying about sharing your life with someone and overcoming things together after a period of time. It is a bit like you and me against the world and coming out on top.

 

As for whether the idea that opposites attract does have merit, while I don't necessarily subscribe to the evolutionary perspective, It seems to be the case that people are attracted to a quality in a potential spouse that they don't possess. The novelty seems attractive. But a book I read once said that opposites might attract but in the end, it's what you have in common that keeps you together.

@SilverMoonTea

@abs-oluteMand I have been fans of Jang Seung-jo for a while now. He's good in everything that he's in.

[Rina]

Hot parents! 

 

 

Edited February 11, 2023 by Rina

[abs-oluteM]

On 2/11/2023 at 7:06 PM, 40somethingahjumma said:

But a book I read once said that opposites might attract but in the end, it's what you have in common that keeps you together.

I cannot agree more.  It is always exciting to meet someone who is completely different but sooner or later, if there are not shared values, the relationship won't survive.  @ktcjdrama I know sometimes people say that two very similar folks would make life very boring ...but when you're married for a long time, you don't actually want too many surprises 

 

@SilverMoonTea Jang Seung Jo is so versatile an actor and I love him for taking on such interesting characters.